I wanted to move to California for 19 years...But something held me back for so long.
Yesterday marks my 9 year anniversary since I got on my 1-way flight to Oceanside, California and never looked back.
When I was 8, my family came to New York from Russia. I immediately realized the cold weather was not for me. I hated it. Then one day I saw Baywatch on TV and I knew wherever that is, that was where I belong and knew one day I would live there. I had no idea at the time where that was. When I was in my 20's I used to dream about driving a car in LA with my windows down listening to music. I was always too scared to drive when I lived in New York, but I really wanted to learn and could see myself enjoying it.
19 years later, my sister’s husband passed away and she decided to move to Oceanside, CA with her 2 babies who I desperately loved. I desperately wanted to be close to. At the time I was tied down by a full-time job in New York and a husband who after 8 years, was still not ready to move that far away with me. Then I suddenly lost my job 3 weeks later my marriage fell apart. Just like that my life was shattered, and just like that I was free. After crying in bed for a week with minimal food, I picked myself up and booked my 1 way ticket to California. I was forced to learn how to drive immediately after moving here and 8 months later, I bought my very first car and I drove it allover with my windows down blasting loud music. I was living my dream! What a surreal feeling!
If it wasn’t for all 3 devastating events, I’d never be where I am today. You see, I would never have made that leap on my own. But my heart knew I belonged here and some way or another, fate would bring me here. Sometimes, some devastating events have to occur in your life to get you out of your comfort zone, to get you to make a giant change in your life to get to where you truly belong.
If you haven't met me yet, I'm Deja. A 35-year old artist and mom to a 4 year old boy. Becoming a mother was never anything I had planned or even dreamed about. It was a huge surprise and life changer that I am beyond grateful for. But it wasn't easy at first. In fact, it was absolutely terrifying and exhausting. At the time, all of my family lived out of state or at least 2 hours away, so it was just me most of the time and I had some help from my son's dad. But it didn't feel enough. It was overwhelming.
I know not a lot of moms can relate to me. Especially those who have help from husbands, parents, siblings or nannies. But I didn't have that kind of help most of the time and I had to focus on not only raising a son, but growing a business from home because when my son was born, I also made the decision to quit my full-time job and be with my son. This was not a popular decision among my family which led me to move in with my sister, boyfriend and their 3 kids. I went from a cozy apartment to a house with 7 people. It was not an easy adjustment because I still didn't allow others to help me, I had trust issues and my son was very attached to me and I honored that.
Even 1 year later, I still didn't have a grip on my new life. I was very protective of my son and had a very hard time letting others watch him which was probably the reason I was so worn out. It felt like every time I went to shower or take a bath, my son would cry. I even tried to keep him in his little rocker next to my bathtub and he would still cry. This new life, the hormones, led to post-partum depression and many tears. Luckily, I came out of that on my own.
For the last 5 years, I have been on the search of my life purpose. If you read my previous blogs, then you may know that I had everything going for me back then. I had a good job as a graphic artist at an apparel company in Los Angeles. However, after learning everything I could at that position, I felt I needed something more challenging and more fulfilling. The truth is, I felt a deep desire to do something greater in the world. I've always had a deep desire to help people but I didn't know how. Mainly, I loved motivating people. I loved drawing and being creative but I got tired of constantly producing new art one after the next. Something about it felt unsettling to me. I love to draw and loved creating designs for garments. I watched my niece get so excited to wear my designs, she showed them off and told everyone that her aunt drew that. But after a while I became sort of overwhelmed and drained with the idea that we have to keep creating over and over and those designs would only be at the store for a few weeks. After that, your beautiful art that you spent so much time heart and soul designing and creating, would be taken off the department floor never to be seen or worn again. And I was on to the next design.
Hi, I'm Deja! Helping others has always been a huge priority in my life for many years. I also really want to be my own boss! It was so obvious to me I loved inspiring others and motivating my friends, but I didn't know how to apply it to a business or my life's purpose. I had tons of ideas whispering inside me, but I always held myself back waiting for someone else’s approval. Then like magic, the Universe delivers me a Queen of Cups (a caring, noble woman in tarot cards) who without knowing what I’ve been thinking and wanting to do, tells me to go do those exact things. I trust her guidance because everything she has suggested is in line with all of the ideas I’ve wanted to do for as long as I can remember.
I'm Deja. I will be sharing personal stories of manifestation and more.