First, Thank you.
Thank you all who choose my work. You are supporting a creative, hard-working mom who's wanted this for so long. To create art and help others. To live my fullest potential.
In 2014, I quit my job. In 2015 I couldn't afford to live on my own anymore and moved in with family. I started from the bottom now I'm here. It was the darkest 3 years of my life. I felt like a failure. How could i go backwards after having a good job? I used to be married. I was supposed to start a successful business then quit then have a family and buy a house. But my life spiraled. This wasn't supposed to happen to me. I beat myself up a lot for being in that place in my life. I really felt ashamed. But that is where my business started. I wouldn't be here today had I chosen the safe and comfortable road. To keep my job and have a daycare raise my son. I am an INFJ which means i need my space clean and organized in order to create. I am an introvert which means I need to be quiet and alone a lot to decompress and create. That was not available for me for those 3 years. I was not in my comfort zone and being creative was hard for me. It was during those 3 years that I had a secret pregnancy that ended with a secret miscarriage. That followed with a cancer scare, dozens of doctors appointments. I got to meet an oncologist for the first time and see the real scary stuff of life. I finally got cleared after 1 year.
I got to live in a house and when everyone would be gone on vacation I would clean the entire house and pretend it was my house. My very own 5 bedroom house and I was in heaven. There was more flashes of light that I found and I held on to during the darkness. I forced myself to be more present and even miss the days that I lived there. I pictured the future and how I would actually miss having 4 kids in my room watching a movie on my bed. Or being there with my niece and nephews everyday. I would miss the backyard and watching my son play outside with all the kids. So I got more present. I will miss all this light. I moved myself to the light and I spent less time in the darkness.
search for the light
I just kept dreaming of the one day i would move out again and have my life back. But I knew that God or the Universe wouldn’t let me go anywhere until I found the light in that darkness. I kept asking myself why am I here? What do I need to learn from this so I can finally leave? And I knew it was that. I could only see the darkness.
So I searched for the light. When things got really bad where people were yelling and arguing, That is when I searched the hardest. “What could be worse than this?” I would ask myself. And I could easily come up with more horrible scenarios. In an instant I felt grateful for my situation. It was a walk in the park in comparison to what else is out there that I could not handle. When things calmed down I kept searching. “What else?” Well, I have a roof over my head that I don’t pay for or have to worry about. What else? My mom is helping me pay my bills until I can do it on my own again. What else? My son has bonded with his 3 cousins who he called his brothers and sister until I kept correcting him because that’s how close they became. What else?
take the leap
And it was very quickly after that, the window of opportunity knocked and the Universe said to me “it’s time. It is time to move out” I didn't feel ready. I was scared something would go wrong again and I'd have to come crawling back like a failure. But I trusted the guidance. With the help and support of my son’s dad, I very quickly found the perfect apartment that had everything I wanted. I moved out months sooner than I imagined. After I moved out, I found more darkness. But I chose to see it from a new light. I learned from it and overcame it. It's not possible to live without darkness. Darkness is our teacher. We must not dwell on it or let it kill our light. We must just go through it. With practice, we can embrace it. (As I write this a mockingbird, now two mockingbirds came to my window to say hello. I haven't seen them in many months, and they are my favorite bird. This is a sign from the Universe that I am on the right path!)
I once again want to tell you all thank you for supporting my dream, it is because of you I was able to quit my freelance job and focus on creating more card decks. It is all the messages comments and reviews that I receive that keep me going. Everything I experience, I use as inspiration for my card decks. And I trust that that is part of the reason I go through the hard times. I know I am meant to hold that torch and lead those who need to see the light through my cards.
God only gives you what you can handle. It is all for you. Life is our teacher and everything we go through is a lesson. We are always in school. The lessons are there. The light is there. I want to remind you to always search for that light. There is always light in the darkness and I want you to carry a flashlight as a reminder and stay in the light because things do get better but sometimes we must see darkness and hit rock bottom before we can see that light. Choose to see that light every day. For many of you, you are meant to carry that light for others after your darkness. May you all find the light in 2020 And have the best year yet.
Happy New Year
Self-care is really popular right now and for good reason. In America where I live, people tend to overwork and burnout. We are hustling multiple jobs to put food on the table or to just have health benefits for our family. People are finally starting to put themselves first and try to bring more balance and self-care into their lives.
I LOVE crystals because they are beautiful and a true masterpiece that Earth creates. Each one is unique and has taken a long time for form. It is widely believed that crystals hold healing energy and can enhance many areas of your life. I have tried many crystals, and I can attest to their magic.
Crystals effect different people differently, so it's possible what works for 1 person may not work for another. You can have several people use the same crystals and some will have magnificent results and others won’t feel a thing. After working with crystals for the last several years I realized it really is all about the intention and your belief. If you believe that the crystal’s energy is going to produce specific results, it will. Here are my favorite uses of crystals for self-care:
My personal favorite crystal for protection is black tourmaline. I have been using it for years to protect myself from toxic people around me, as well as during travel or natural disasters. For example, in late 2017, we had a forest fire nearby in Bonsall, California. After praying for the fires to be fully contained and harm no one, I put on my black tourmaline pendant and voluntarily evacuated for the night with my son. When I woke up in the morning, the crystal had shattered. Several people told me that it means the crystal has done its job in protecting me. That same day although the fires have spread further, they actually took a turn in a different direction from where I lived, and later thankfully, fully contained.
Ever since I was a kid, I always had very vivid dreams. I also had many nightmares and sleep paralysis (which is the most terrifying thing EVER). When I discovered crystals, naturally I decided to add them to my bedside to help me have better dreams. I remember there was a month period when I kept having nightmares so I decided to add some positive crystals like rose quartz, black tourmaline for protection, and a few others near my bedside. I even put some under my pillow. It's been many months since and I've had only 1 nightmare since then which has been a huge improvement.
One of the coolest experiences I have ever had during meditation happened when I was taking a bath and holding a fairly large labradorite in my hands and listening to a guided meditation. I had the most emotional out of body experience that allowed me to see a painful situation in a new light and finally heal and forgive. Right after that I saw and felt fully abundant and saw a waterfall flowing. It felt like I had won the lottery. It was the first time I had ever felt that kind of unlimited and definite feeling of abundance. That was about 3 years ago, and I have not experienced anything close to that since, but I believe the labradorite was the main factor as it is a very magical crystal that allows you to connect to higher realms of consciousness and parallel worlds of endless possibilities.
As an artist, I often have creator's block. As someone who also writes blogs on my website and daily social media posts, I also often have writer’s block. So whenever I need assistance in clarity and my ability to express myself clearly, I surround myself with selenite and lapis lazuli. I have a lapis lazuli choker which I like to wear, I also have it as a bracelet. And I have many selenite crystals that I simply hold or place near my while typing my blog or creating. You can also hold either of those crystals while meditating to receive clarity.
The most popular crystal for love is rose quartz. It's a great idea to place it in corners of your home to promote love and harmony. If you feel guarded, you can place it on your heart and do a meditation laying down to help open up your heart chakra. You can also wear it as jewelry to help you feel more love, as feeling love, attracts love and can completely effect that love energy in others as well.
Connect to Higher Self:
I recently discovered Merkabas and their power in being able to connect to your higher self. This is something I have been working hard on strengthening for the past 2 years or so. I just received one from Healingcrystals.com and I am super excited to meditate with it. Learn about the power of Merkaba. You can buy one here.
I will gladly take any Crystal over a diamond any day. I love the fact the crystals come in beautiful organic shapes and you can buy them raw or tumbled or cut into a specific shape. I personally love to see their natural beauty.
I just discovered healingcrystals.com has a very unique set of card decks with Crystal properties on them. While purchasing dozens and dozens of crystals could get expensive I also learned you can simply work with the energy of a crystal such as an Oracle card with the crystals picture and information on it. These cards have so much information about crystals and how they connect with chakras and even animal totems. I am very excited to dive in to learning more!
Other cool crystals
Using crystals does not have to feel complicated or overwhelming. The true magic is within you.
Check out this huge crystal directory and their uses. You can work with any crystal that you feel drawn to, which is how I recommend buying crystals.
I think the very first crystals I’ve ever purchased were from healingcrystals.com You can get 10% discount if you use this code: DEJAHC10 on their website!
I LOVE visualization!!! This is such a powerful tool to manifestation. I have always been a daydreamer. When I was in school, I daydreamed ALL the time hence my grades suffered because I couldn't focus on the hocus pocus those teachers were trying to teach us about US history or the periodic table.
Ever since I discovered The Secret I was using visualization and affirmations to manifest things I wanted. If you don't yet know how to visualize or don't know what it is, here are the steps to how I visualize and how I used it to manifest 2 cars, a free laptop, a new apartment, and even won over 7 giveaways.
Step 1: Decide
Decide what it is that you want. What is the next thing you want to manifest? Is it a car? Is it winning a giveaway? Is it getting published? Choose 1.
I wanted to move to California for 19 years...But something held me back for so long.
Yesterday marks my 9 year anniversary since I got on my 1-way flight to Oceanside, California and never looked back.
When I was 8, my family came to New York from Russia. I immediately realized the cold weather was not for me. I hated it. Then one day I saw Baywatch on TV and I knew wherever that is, that was where I belong and knew one day I would live there. I had no idea at the time where that was. When I was in my 20's I used to dream about driving a car in LA with my windows down listening to music. I was always too scared to drive when I lived in New York, but I really wanted to learn and could see myself enjoying it.
19 years later, my sister’s husband passed away and she decided to move to Oceanside, CA with her 2 babies who I desperately loved. I desperately wanted to be close to. At the time I was tied down by a full-time job in New York and a husband who after 8 years, was still not ready to move that far away with me. Then I suddenly lost my job 3 weeks later my marriage fell apart. Just like that my life was shattered, and just like that I was free. After crying in bed for a week with minimal food, I picked myself up and booked my 1 way ticket to California. I was forced to learn how to drive immediately after moving here and 8 months later, I bought my very first car and I drove it allover with my windows down blasting loud music. I was living my dream! What a surreal feeling!
If it wasn’t for all 3 devastating events, I’d never be where I am today. You see, I would never have made that leap on my own. But my heart knew I belonged here and some way or another, fate would bring me here. Sometimes, some devastating events have to occur in your life to get you out of your comfort zone, to get you to make a giant change in your life to get to where you truly belong.
If you haven't met me yet, I'm Deja. A 35-year old artist and mom to a 4 year old boy. Becoming a mother was never anything I had planned or even dreamed about. It was a huge surprise and life changer that I am beyond grateful for. But it wasn't easy at first. In fact, it was absolutely terrifying and exhausting. At the time, all of my family lived out of state or at least 2 hours away, so it was just me most of the time and I had some help from my son's dad. But it didn't feel enough. It was overwhelming.
I know not a lot of moms can relate to me. Especially those who have help from husbands, parents, siblings or nannies. But I didn't have that kind of help most of the time and I had to focus on not only raising a son, but growing a business from home because when my son was born, I also made the decision to quit my full-time job and be with my son. This was not a popular decision among my family which led me to move in with my sister, boyfriend and their 3 kids. I went from a cozy apartment to a house with 7 people. It was not an easy adjustment because I still didn't allow others to help me, I had trust issues and my son was very attached to me and I honored that.
Even 1 year later, I still didn't have a grip on my new life. I was very protective of my son and had a very hard time letting others watch him which was probably the reason I was so worn out. It felt like every time I went to shower or take a bath, my son would cry. I even tried to keep him in his little rocker next to my bathtub and he would still cry. This new life, the hormones, led to post-partum depression and many tears. Luckily, I came out of that on my own.
For the last 5 years, I have been on the search of my life purpose. If you read my previous blogs, then you may know that I had everything going for me back then. I had a good job as a graphic artist at an apparel company in Los Angeles. However, after learning everything I could at that position, I felt I needed something more challenging and more fulfilling. The truth is, I felt a deep desire to do something greater in the world. I've always had a deep desire to help people but I didn't know how. Mainly, I loved motivating people. I loved drawing and being creative but I got tired of constantly producing new art one after the next. Something about it felt unsettling to me. I love to draw and loved creating designs for garments. I watched my niece get so excited to wear my designs, she showed them off and told everyone that her aunt drew that. But after a while I became sort of overwhelmed and drained with the idea that we have to keep creating over and over and those designs would only be at the store for a few weeks. After that, your beautiful art that you spent so much time heart and soul designing and creating, would be taken off the department floor never to be seen or worn again. And I was on to the next design.
You ever wonder why some people have such bad luck?
I know a few people who always have bad luck. In fact they even say things like "with my luck..." followed by something negative. Both of them immediately expect the worst things to happen to them when a problem arises. I on the other hand remind myself to always, ALWAYS expect the best no matter what. So when I got pulled over for speeding, before the officer even made it to my car, I had already decided at that very moment, that I not going to pay for any tickets. "With my luck, I will get this baby dismissed" I thought, not having any clue on how to actually do that.
Have you ever been so convinced something would happen, for no reason at all, and then it happened?
That is sort of what happened to me at the end of 2012. Back when I had a full-time job, my company had a Christmas party coming up. At the time I was actually going through a horrible heart-break and really needed a miracle in my life. I also really wanted an iPad. Our company gave out prizes at the Christmas party so I convinced myself that if I would win an iPad that day, that it would also be a sign from the Universe that I would reunite with my ex.
It wasn’t long before I convinced myself and my coworkers that I was going to win an iPad. Everyone was rooting for me, and they were excited for me as if it was already a done deal! I ANTICIPATED that day to come. The party also happened to be the day everyone was saying was going to be the end of the world (read more about it here, 2012 Phenomena). So I do not know if this day had any significance, but I did not believe the end was coming. On the contrary, I believed something really magical was going to happen for me on that day. I expected that iPad without A SINGLE DOUBT. I cannot even explain how convinced I was about it. But I was so wrong...
Some of you may know that I used the Law of Attraction to manifest a car 6 years ago, while I was unemployed (stay tuned for a blog on that.) Well my car was now 10 years old and it seemed to have a new problem every time a mechanic took a look at it. I was ready to manifest my new car. The only problem was, I have been a stay at home mom for 3 years. I didn't have a stable income. The only thing I managed to have is good credit. I knew I would need some form of income in order to get approved for a bank loan. Buying a new car is a big deal. Not everyone can afford one and not everyone can get approved for a car loan. I once knew a guy who had a good steady job in the military and I remember him complaining that he kept getting rejected for an auto loan. Naturally, I was prepared to be rejected as well.
I'm Deja. I will be sharing personal stories of manifestation and more.